Change of Name

Please be advised that my complaining friend will hence forth be known as my normal friend. This proclamation also made me nearly pee my pants. It also ties into the complaints of my "straight" friends who wanted to know if they were mentioned in my blog - they would know this if they ever read my blog! So here is why my complaining friend is normal in comparison to my other friends:

Normal friend you've been introduced to before.

1. B is male and married to a woman...sounds normal, but isn't when in reality he really is gay. Reasons B is gay - listens to Madonna and Backstreet Boys, house contains a lot from IKEA (before the wife moved in), closer to female friends than male friends, all his previous girlfriends and current wife has thought he might be gay at one time or another, he cans his own fruit/vegetables (OK this is more because he's cheap), strangers have thought him to be gay in comparison to me - ahhh Las Vegas.

2. R is also male and soon to be married to a woman. R is of Chinese origin and is a self declared banana (yellow on the outside, white on the inside, with some black spots). In the politically correct way of life, Ray is a metrosexual - dresses well, always coiffed, routinely has manicures, etc.. However, to know R is to know he is really a homo. The clincher of him being gay is the purple velvet jump suit - ahhh Las Vegas. No straight man would have bought this, let alone wear it in public...that and he asks way too many questions about being gay and the gay "lifestyle"...trying to learn about a friend...perhaps...trying to learn for himself...probably.

3. C is female and married B...enough said.

4. G is male and gay...and OK...you have me on this one...he is also relatively normal...at least to everyone but me. Any reason he isn't normal I can't publicly declare because if I do he will reveal too much about me. It's a finely tuned balance we have with dirt on one another. Just one of many strong foundations of our friendship.

5. W is married to the complaining/normal friend...enough said. OK not enough said. He's a 'public intellectual'...now enough said.

6. V is single (she and I are the only one's left) and no longer lives in Saskatchewan. Trust me...she ain't normal...again nothing I can publicly declare without revealing her identity. Oh wait there are a few things...she calls her TV Stevie and refuses to take cabs much to the dismay of her fat friends.

There is nothing quite like seeing your social circle in black and white to make you realize just how fucked up other people are and make you realize that maybe...just maybe..the Small City Fag is the normal one...